pg21

posted 23rd Nov 2012, 10:31 AM

pg21
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view Jetyl's profile

23rd Nov 2012, 10:31 AM

Jetyl

a breif bit of exposition I think I handled much more naturally that the previous bit.

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view ranger_brianna_new's profile

7th Jan 2013, 1:50 AM

ranger_brianna_new

Yup, I can tell the exposition was handled more naturally--still a little repetitive, though ("of course" in particular), and there are typos.

For instance, "islands of Isoncia"--you typo'd the name of your comic. :P

"giving total Anachry" has the r displaced; it shoulda been in front of the ch.

"why its so rural" should be "why it's so rural".


If it makes you feel any better, I've always had trouble with writing large doses of exposition myself. :P

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